As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
