ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
