fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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