somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
