I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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