I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize