He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
