My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My bed smells like the plague
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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