He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
