I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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