Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize