He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
