That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well you can't waste a boner
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
