Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
