just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
