She said her name was "party"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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