a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize