yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
