her vagine was all disorganized.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
