I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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