I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
