Pappa wants mamma naked
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
