Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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