When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
MIDGETS
????
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
