It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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