somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
