no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize