We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
