ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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