So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
