THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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