Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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