Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
