My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
