You're my little dorito
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
FUCK WHALES
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
