I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
