Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
