So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
