Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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