He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
