Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize