I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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