I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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