I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize