Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
