is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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