I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
