The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Two words: blizzard sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize