Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
