State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
