I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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