no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
