its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
