trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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