I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
