i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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