I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
