so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
