what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
