Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
