It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
