i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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