Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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