i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize