she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
