As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
