i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize