You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
