if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
